Wave by wave – part 10 – the last article about lessons learned from our adventure and lifestyle change – about endings that energies the new.
When we left Stockholm six years ago, we ended a large part of our old life. We let go of our apartment, our professional life and our usual routines. Ending, letting go of what no longer gives us energy, became since then an important and recurring theme.
Waves are masters at ending themselves
– fearlessly, they let go of their form and energies, in a new wave to take off.
Why it Is so Good to End
Ending is a conscious act.
Based on a decision with a definite end point.
The end marks a period that I can reflect on.
How did it go – did it turn out as I had imagined when I started?
And of course, I can celebrate
– how I have developed, all the challenges I have overcome, etc.
I can send thoughts of gratitude for all the help I have received along the way.
Relational endings are extra important
– who knows if we will see each other again or not?
Have I been honest and told you what I am thinking and feeling?
Both the difficult and the joyful.
Is there anything to forgive?
What can I thank and appreciate?
It gives me security to know that nothing stands in the way
and that we can meet again with ease.
Of course, this also applies to the relationship with myself
– am I living the way I want to, deep down?
If I were to die tomorrow – the ultimate question.
Sometimes we use rituals or ceremonies to mark endings
– we thank the person who is ending with a speech and a flower.
Or we have a funeral service that brings everyone involved together.
Here on Vista we celebrate the past week every Friday.
During our long ocean voyages, celebration was very important
– as a manifestation that we could sail safely and securely as a team.
Nothing left to weigh down, leak or suck.
Instead, a calm and a joy.
Space for the new.
Acceptance of the natural course and development of life.
Beginning – ending, over and over again.
Life Is Full of Endings and Beginnings
Every evening, sunset marks the end of a day and the beginning of a night.
Every exhalation is a consequence of an inhalation.
One person dies, another is born.
Leaves fall from the trees and new shoots grow.
We close a door and leave a room or house and enter something new.
We cross a bridge – from one side to the other.
We sail across an ocean, from one continent to another.
We turn the pages of a book and finish chapter after chapter,
until one day the whole book is finished – and we start a new one.
Yet, it Is so Easy to Miss Completion
I forget, get distracted, get tired, lose patience,
priorities, what is easy and fun for the moment.
A variety of circumstances can affect what I have started.
Just think about all the promises we make – to ourselves and others.
- New Year’s resolutions like starting to exercise, changing jobs or learning something new.
- Dreams that never come true.
- Relationships that we want to improve, end, or find new ones.
- Things that we know we should change, but for some reason can’t
- like losing weight, quitting smoking or drinking too much.
And then all those things that are so easy to resist because we may think they are difficult:
- ending complaints or blaming others
- forgiving someone
- saying no, thank you
- or yes to what we are afraid of
Maybe what we promised will happen, or not.
When it doesn’t happen, it takes energy.
The message to myself is that my word doesn’t mean much.
What I thought, felt or wanted can be changed
– if I find it too difficult, uncomfortable, risky or boring.
That means I belittle my own ability to make informed decisions.
And my ability to handle challenges is dismissed with “you can’t do that.”
Why Don’t We Keep Our Promises?
My hypothesis for why it’s so common for us to promise things,
but not keep our word,
is that we’re not present and grounded.
We’re not in enough touch with our why
– whether what we say is important
and should therefore be prioritised and followed up on.
Think about all the ideas we have
– it’s like a treasure trove of suggestions,
potential seeds of what we can choose from
– one fine day when we have the desire and sufficient will to cultivate something new.
We can’t possibly grow them all at once. That’s not the point.
But we like to talk as if everything will happen – one fine day.
What Can We Do?
But what if we just became more present and grounded,
both downward and upward – in our body and in our soul.
So that we feel in our soul and heart what is true for us.
So that we can put into words our real current situation
and what we want with our lives.
The next step becomes so much easier to find and take.
We can even feel urgency when we know why we are doing what we are doing.
- We find that our intuitive voice is to be trusted.
- We become clearer about our choices – what we want to nurture and let grow.
- We see the difference between our shot and the weeds that need to be cleared away.
- We become clearer in our communication.
- We become someone whose words are credible.
- We gain power when what we say also happens.
In Conclusion
For me, the process of becoming more aware of who I am is ongoing.
Ending and letting go of what no longer energises and adds
is a powerful way to make room for the new.
In the meantime, I try to be as kind as I can to myself and others.
Reminds me that we are doing our best and usually have good intentions.
I follow our motto – to face life wave by wave.
- How do you become more aware of the unfinished?
- What projects, big or small, are open in your life?
- What could you finish already today?
With this, I would like to conclude this series
which has covered my most important lessons
and insights after selling everything,
to living and sailing around the world with my husband.
The series began with commitment – the strength of a decision based in the heart
and is rounded off with the fact that endings give energy and power to the new.
An ending is not the end – but the beginning of something new.
Thank you to those of you who have read and followed along!
Welcome to the next adventure – about the third act of life.
Best regards from Anna
P.S. If you want help releasing more power in your life
– email me at anna@avalona.se
If you are curious about more, you can find the full story in
Wave by Wave – From City Stress to Oceanic Freedom. A Memoir about Letting Go.
Available to order from Adlibris and Amazon.
Here you can read previous articles in the Wave by Wave series:
Part 1 – Commitment Is Crucial
Part 2 – A Life We Love
Part 3 – Letting Go and Lighten Up
Part 4 – Inviting the New
Part 5 – Saying Yes to Challenges
Part 6 – Slow Down and Get Connected
Part 7 – When We Finally Cracked the Code
Part 8 – Be Curious on the Edges
Part 9 – The Future Begins with a Courageous Yes to the Unknown