Wave by Wave – Part 9 about how new contexts can help us develop.
Change is the most natural thing in the world. Although we often long for it, resistance to change seems to be a human Achilles heel. Here I will tell you what a difference it made to say yes to the unknown and how my view of change has changed after sailing the oceans.
Change as Something Difficult
Back home in Stockholm, change was often related to external circumstances – the arrival of winter, organisational changes, traffic delays, technological development and ever-increasing demands on IT security and now also AI. There were a lot to relate to, and the life’s puzzle were often difficult to put together.
Like ADH, various letter combinations got spreading as explanations for the world and its change: BOHCA – Bend over, Here it Comes Again; VUCA – Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous; BANI – Brittle, Anxious, Non-linear and Incomprehensible.
The worst was the uncertain phase between the old and the new.
This is nothing new. People have thought about change throughout history. Already several thousand years ago, the Greek philosopher Heraclitus concluded that change is constant.
Resistance – The Door to the New and Unknown
There are of course explanations for why there is great resistance to change. Our entire inner being is reorganised when we experience change. The new and unknown can be dangerous. At least we think so. Our brain signals danger and we ourselves try to maintain control – over emotions, identity, opinions about what is right, etc. It may seem easier to resist than, for example, to feel, process old grief and forgive. Or to face fear and still act.
What if we could see resistance as the door to something new.
If we said yes to and accepted change as the most natural thing in the world.
“Change is never painful. Only resistance to change is painful.” – Buddha
“The greatest courage is to be capable to see the change and to move with it.” – Osho
“The day came when the risk of remaining tightly in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anaïs Nin
The Importance of Context
They say we become like those around us – our surroundings. When I lived in Stockholm, I was like a fish in my own water, in the city of my birth. I knew exactly how to find special places. Much went on routine. There were long work weeks and weekends on Lökholmen.
When we then had to let go of everything and sail out of the Baltic Sea, everything became completely new. What happened?
We switched to a new physical context. In our case, to the oceans and to the whole world. We set it up as a new possibility for adventure. The new context invited me to be someone else, an ocean sailor rather than a coastal sailor. We let go of the old.
All new contexts – a change of environment, moving from city to country or vice versa, living in an ashram for a while, going from being an employee to being a manager or your own business owner, learning something new, changing habits, meditating, participating in courses for personal and spiritual development, changing professions or workplaces, etc. – are changes that can also lead to a deeper inner transformation. The new challenges our identity and invites us to transform our being.
What Would Happen if I Said Yes to the Unknown?
As powerful as the ocean is, it was new and unknown to me/us. It aroused my fear many times. Just like all new contexts do. I didn’t know what I would experience when the waves got higher and higher and when the wind increased in strength. Or what it would be like to sail around the clock, even at night, for a month straight.
The Ocean as a Training Arena
The ocean has its own, very special rules. Existence rules here. And it is big, like infinite – we see horizons far away and at night it shows us its stars. Communication takes place on an energy level – via light, wind and currents.
Everyone gets to participate and develop in their own way. Think, for example, of how the sun and the clouds constantly change the scenario. One does not wait for the other – they are there at the same time. It goes fast; everything is constantly moving. The flexibility and playfulness are great – from calm water to storm, from still water to monster waves.
Existence is not afraid to take turns or to roar with thunder, lightning or cyclones. Or to meet – as in a rainbow. Together is the thing. And to let go, as the waves do all the time or the clouds when they become too heavy with rain – constant change and creativity. Remember that both the sun and the moon can paint the waves with gold!
In this context that is obviously in constant change, I must be present. Here it is important to be attentive and keep up. Here there are no concrete walls that protect or obscure the view. In all this grandeur, it is understandable that one can feel dazed, dizzy and afraid. Risky! I want to live and be a part of it.
I am curious and amazed by the magic that unfolds before my eyes. Some scenarios are fantastic. Every morning, I sit glued to the sunrise. The first ray is like a dazzling laser. No days are the same. Talk about creativity and imagination.
What is also amazing is that it feels as if existence finds its way to speak to me too. Intuitively, I can feel that it is time to go up to the cockpit – to find a bird circling over our boat or to witness a very beautiful sky.
When things are particularly tough, we always get signs – a signal that we are not alone, but that we are part of it – that we also are included and taken care of. I also notice that I am becoming more sensitive, I feel every wave and immediately notice if the wind and waves are increasing or decreasing. I learned how important it is to go with it, rather than going against it.
So, we also shift. It is impossible not to be touched in this type of context. When I let go of my fear, I became present to something much bigger.
“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.” – Heraclitus
What Difference Did That Make?
Now you might be thinking, well, that’s not for me. I don’t have a dream of sailing the ocean.
My point is not the ocean, but that the new context helped me transform. My many habits and my way of communicating were not enough out here. I had to, in a positive sense, be someone other than in my accustomed environment. The strength of the ocean was change and creativity.
Everyone who changes contexts must relate to the new, to the change, in some way.
Do you have to change contexts, you might wonder.
No, you don’t have to do anything in this world. Each of us has our own life to do with as we please.
What I have experienced is how much it has helped me to change contexts. Sailing the oceans was a powerful encounter with our existence and the greatness. Those sides within me were mirrored. I chose voluntarily; I was willing to go out into the unknown. That’s where it shifted.
Another context is participating in a course for personal and spiritual development. Here we are invited to try new ways of being and to encounter previously unknown sides of ourselves and others in a safe environment. Confusion and chaos are understood as signs that we have dared to move towards the unknown and new. We will not move forward without going through it. We train and know that one day we will no longer be afraid, but we will have cracked that code too.
Ok, but that doesn’t change all those external circumstances you mentioned at the beginning. So?!
Well, but it does. When I no longer resist the constant change but accept it, I can behave differently. An organisational change can take many months before it is complete. Who can we be in the meantime? I can be present, open and curious even if it feels as uncertain as in fog. Just like at sea, now is the time when we need to be alert to every little signal. Even from within ourselves – the intuitive messages to you and me.
Sounds easier said than done.
I agree. I have learned to understand resistance, stress, upset, etc. as my path to development. As soon as I notice it, I stop and think about what alternatives I have. I can choose the familiar, or I can try something new. Then I take one step. I may be surprised.
Some Final Words
Change is happening all the time.
We can choose to resist or accept it.
Changing contexts helps us develop new ways of being.
It is in the encounter with the unknown that the shift occurs.
- What is your accustomed environment – where you are like a fish in water?
- What new environment and new opportunity do you think would help you develop?
- What helps you accept and be with the constant change?
Wave by wave,
All the best from Anna
P.S. Do you want to talk about your change and development?
Feel free to email me anna@avalona.se
Wave by Wave is the title of my new book in which I share what a major life transition, from an active city life to sailing the seas with my husband, has done to me. In a series of articles, I reflect on the journey and share my greatest insights.
Wave by Wave – From City Stress to Oceanic Freedom. A Memoir about Letting Go.
You find it at Amazon.
Here you can read earlier articles in the series Wave by Wave: Avalona.se
Part 1 – Commitment Is Crucial
Part 2 – A Life We Love
Part 3 – Letting Go and Lighten Up
Part 4 – Inviting the New
Part 5 – Saying Yes to Challenges
Part 6 – Slow Down and Get Connected
Part 7 – When We Finally Cracked the Code
Part 8 – Be Curious on the Edges